MY CHILDHOOD WAS A JOKE !!!

Yes, my childhood was a joke just like yours was, if you believed Santa Claus was real. You did, didn't you? Yes, of course you did. Now don't act all matured suddenly, Santa is still real, you understand? :P

Well, I had a few misinterpretations growing up and since I am an Indian (not being racist), I had a lot :P
So here are a few of my ridiculously absurd beliefs.

• YOU WANT A BABY? JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL  

  Well, what do you know. One of my earliest misinterpretations was that if you stayed in the hospital for a long time, they gave you a baby. Like a consolation prize or something.

• ORAL? OH IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH!

  I used to think anything with "oral" in it had something to do with toothbrushes because I always used to buy ORAL-B toothbrushes. Now you know exactly what I thought when I first heard of oral sex -_-

• DRUNK DRIVING - OH, THAT IS JUST WATER :)

  My childhood logic behind this was that if you lift a water bottle up to your mouth, you tilt your head back, and thus, take your eyes off the road.

I never once considered that it was related to alcohol till I got a little older. I had also never considered the use of straws, or simply keeping one's eyes on the road while taking a sip of water.

My cousin played along and acted like I had caught him doing something bad every time he drank water while drving which totally made me look like an idiot.

• MEDIEVAL TIMES? 

I thought that the medieval times were actually mid-evil. Like there was a time when people were bad, but also kind of good. 

• MICHAEL JACKSON - APOLOGIES MATE, DIDN'T SPARE YOU EITHER 

When I was little I thought there were two Michael Jacksons, a black one and a white one. Even after being told that they were the same guy, I refused to believe it was true until I was about 14. Black or White made less sense to me those days.

• OOPS!

     I used to think B.C. meant Before Christ and A.D. meant After Dinosaurs. Yeah, my history teacher was a jackass!

• MARTIN LUTHER KING HE IS, MY LORD

I used to think that Martin Luther King Jr. was actually "Martin Luther, the King". I literally thought that he was a monarch who ruled over black people. 

• GREAT MENTAL IMAGE. VOLUNTEERS ANYONE?

One thing I was scared of, more than ghosts? Cross eyes. I believed that if you cross you eyes and somebody slapped you then, you will remain cross eyed. Seriously twisted this shit was, back then !

• AIDS - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

My Dad told me that picking my nose would give me AIDS (this was when I was 7, and well, about AIDS- I'd been told that it could kill anybody in a flash once you get it ). Later, with that concept in mind, I walked in on my elder cousin digging for gold and started crying hysterically because I thought he was going to die, until my dad came over to me and somehow convinced me that he missed giving me a vital part of that information. Picking your left nose only would give you AIDS and my brother was picking his right. I don't know how he made me believe that too. Hats off Dad !

• AND IF YOU THOUGHT SANTA CLAUS MISCONCEPTIONS WERE DEAD AND BURIED ,THEN GUESS WHAT..

When I was young I thought the song" I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" was actually about a boy catching his mother cheating on his father with Santa. It made me trust Santa a lot less because he would have definitely known that she was married. That made me wonder why Santa is so jolly always? He knows where all the naughty girls lived.

If you think that was it, you might consider yourself lucky :P